Key takeaways
- Having a roommate in college can offer companionship, meaningful connections, shared experiences, and opportunities for personal growth.
- When choosing a roommate, you may live with someone you already know, be randomly assigned, or use matching platforms like Facebook, RoomSurf, RoomSync, or StarRez.
- To set yourself up for a successful year together, take time to get to know one another early, exchange contact information, decide who’s bringing shared items, brainstorm decor ideas, discuss any health concerns, establish clear expectations on things like cleanliness, personal items, quiet hours, temperature preferences, and agree on how to handle conflict.
Flickr user Residorm Öğrenci Yurdu
After months (and even years) of planning for college—researching, visiting, applying, choosing a major, waiting for acceptance letters, applying for financial aid, and committing to a school—you might be forgetting one really important factor: finding your freshman year roommate.
Whether you’re excited to have a freshman roommate or you’re dreading it—don’t stress. We’ll guide you through how to choose a roommate and some helpful tips to help you avoid conflicts and have the best freshman year possible.
Benefits of having a roommate
College might be the first time you live with someone other than your family. And while you might be nervous about the potential challenges that could come from it, there are also a few important benefits to factor in:
- Company and connection: Sometimes the loneliness and homesickness can sink in, especially during those first few weeks at school. Having a roommate that you can talk to, navigate campus with, or relax with during a movie night can help make the transition feel less isolating.
- Shared experiences: You and your roommate might like to do some of the same things. This doesn’t mean you have to be best friends, but liking the same books or sports could give you something to do or talk about.
- Personal growth: Regardless of who you live with, you’ll be learning how to live in a small space with another person. This can help you grow invaluable life skills, such as communication, compromise, and conflict resolution.
How to choose a roommate
Your dorm room is going to be your home for the next year. So, the last thing you want is to share it with someone you don’t get along with. When choosing a roommate, you have a few options:
- Pick someone you know: Is a friend from your high school or hometown attending the same college? Living together can feel like an easier transition since you already have some shared familiarity.
- Use social media groups or matching platforms: Many students connect through Facebook groups or third-party sites like RoomSurf, RoomSync, or StarRez. When reaching out, introduce yourself, share your major, where you’re from, include a photo, and add a few interesting facts to find a good match!
- Get a random assignment: While it may feel less certain, a random roommate can work out surprisingly well. Colleges often use housing questionnaires to match you with someone who has the same habits and preferences.
10 tips for building a healthy roommate relationship
We get it, it’s a small space (we’re talking less than 200 square feet) and it’s not always easy to live with someone—especially someone you may not know. However, it’s important to set you and your roommate up for a successful and positive year. Before you move in, here are 10 tips for maintaining a good relationship with your new roommate:
Tip 1: Get to know each other
Be open to getting to know one another. Whether you meet up in person for coffee or send an email or text, telling them a bit about yourself can break the ice and help you find things in common. You can go over your major, dream career, hobbies, interests, or even a nickname you go by. It doesn’t have to be a whole essay about yourself, but just a few talking points are nice to have for either party.
Tip 2: Exchange contact info
Most colleges will share your roommate’s college email with you so the two of you can get in contact. Send a quick email with your phone number so you can connect easily or find each other on move-in day. Having each other’s contact information can also be helpful in case you need to coordinate schedules or communicate that you’ll be away for the weekend.
Tip 3: Figure out who’s bringing what
While you may have been prepping what to bring to your dorm all summer, so has your roommate. This is why it’s super important to discuss who’s bringing what to the dorm room. Remember, you won’t have a lot of room, and you definitely don’t need two mini-fridges, futons, or TVs. Make a game plan and figure out ahead of time who is going to bring certain items to the room.
Tip 4: Brainstorm room decor
Decorating your living space can be a great roommate bonding experience. However, sometimes style preferences clash. Before hauling a ton of posters, lights, rugs, and curtains with you, have a chat with your new roommate about creating a space that reflects both of your styles. Maybe comfort and warmth are a priority? If so, the two of you can decide on a plush rug, twinkle lights, and reading lamps for late-night study sessions. This way, your space feels like home to both of you.
Tip 5: Discuss allergies/health concerns
Health concerns can sometimes fly under the radar, but they’re important to discuss early. Many students bring snacks and food during move-in day, so if you or your roommate have a serious allergy, it’s important to share that ahead of time so everyone can plan safely.
Tip 6: Set cleanliness expectations
Everyone has a different definition of “clean,” and assuming yours is the same as your new roommate’s can lead to tension fast. It’s important to get on the same page from the beginning and decide what works best for the two of you when it comes to cleanliness.
Tip 7: Decide what is shared vs. what is not
While there may be things you and your roommate decide to share, there also may be things that are strictly off-limits. Talk it out early so there are clear boundaries and no confusion. Maybe you decide to share the futon, TV, and coffee creamer, but the Bluetooth speaker is something you’d rather keep to yourself.
Tip 8: Establish quiet hours
Set some ground rules early around noise and downtime. Even if it doesn’t seem like you’ll need them, it’s important to talk through sleep schedules, study time, and when friends can come over. When you’re on the same page about quiet hours, it can help both of you feel respected.
Tip 9: Discuss temperature preferences
It may sound small, but even something like the thermostat setting can cause issues. One person’s “perfectly cozy” can be another person’s “why am I freezing?” Get ahead of any conflict and agree on settings for different seasons.
Tip 10: Agree on how to handle conflict
Conflict will come up. That’s normal when you live with another person in a small space. Decide ahead of time that if an issue arises, you’ll bring it to the other person instead of letting it build up. If you can’t come to a solution on your own, let your RA know so they can step in and help.
Overcoming challenges and setting yourself up for success
Freshman year is a time for a lot of firsts, including having a roommate. Try not to stress though, there are plenty of things you can do to set yourself up for success—from being thoughtful about who you choose as your roommate to establishing respectful ground rules from the start. Remember, living with someone means being flexible, so stay positive and focus on finding solutions that work for both of you. You never know, you and your roommate might become close friends for life!
Ready to find the perfect roommate, but still haven’t found the perfect college? Use College Raptor’s College Match tool to get matched with colleges based on your preferences, majors, test scores, and more. You might just find your dream school—and roommate—in the process!
